heavy her breathing.

heavy her breathing, her indefatigable excitement carried her on tired wings into christmas morning. she couldn't imagine chanukah, eight whole days and nights of holding her breath, waiting to feel her eyes light up and waiting to see the light in other's eyes.
the cheer didn't come this year because the light failed to prevail in the eyes of another, a lover. he was a scapegrace of a boy who knew no love and could never learn to return the favor of her affection. his narcissism lead to a disease of the mind that no pill or doctor, no love, could cure. she spent her days grasping at the curtains, screaming at the light.
the stentorian sound of his own self-praise made him deaf in the right ear, but she never sat on the left and therefore couldn't whisper sweet nothings into his funtioning left ear.
she spent her time sullen and alone with a boy who grew into a man and still loved no one but himself. and so her days went and so her days always will be.